Inherently Happy

Happy Outcast - Ep. 443

Have you ever felt excluded? Did you scramble to fit in again to avoid being left out?
Or take it as an opportunity to see what your own heart and mind was about?

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 443 - Happy Outcast

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I was a popular kid when I was very young and super cute,
But that all went away as I grew up awkward and weird,
My ability to make friends disappeared making me destitute,
And leaving me open to bullying, loneliness and all the things I feared.

I fought against it as best I could, of course, trying to make friends on the sly,
If I could just get people away from the crowds, I thought, they’d see I was cool,
But it never lasted, the peer pressure was just too strong for them to defy,
Something that lost its power over me as a general rule.

If nothing you do has any effect on how others treat you, then you’re free,
I could dress how I liked, act how I liked, and be who I liked,
It didn’t change the frequency of the bullying, just the ammo they could use on me,
But it stopped hitting the same way it once had--my fear and anger no longer spiked.

Oddly, it was also a relief to not have to conform anymore,
Conformity didn’t help and nonconformity didn’t hurt,
So I chose nonconformity, which is quite a thing to explore,
There’s a freedom in being a Happy Outcast out in the cold and down in the dirt.

I’m not saying it’s ideal by any means, community is very meaningful to folks,
Myself included, but when that’s not an option, finding out who you are alone
Is an important discovery to achieve even if it’s just the broad strokes,
It can grant you self-confidence beyond what you may previously have known.

Have you ever felt excluded? Did you scramble to fit in again to avoid being left out?
Or take it as an opportunity to see what your own heart and mind was about?

Haha
Yowza

Sad Happy - Ep. 442

So, how do you feel about being sad?
A weakness, is it? Or a much-needed release?
Do you worry about opening the floodgates even just a tad?

[full text below]

Ep. 442 - Sad Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Read the first letter of each line
And you’ll see a message
Hidden like a secret sign.

So, how do you feel about being sad?
A weakness, is it? Or a much-needed release?
Do you worry about opening the floodgates even just a tad?

How about starting with just the tiniest dose of Sad?
An amount so small it’s something anyone can process?
Purpose being, to get you accustomed to it without it feeling too bad.
People need a chance to acclimate, to get over the initial stress,
Yet not so slowly that they can’t let go of any of the pain they had.

Really, the idea is not to make you feel sad for sadness’ sake,
As Sad, like any mood, is not the goal, it’s just a tool, a way to deal with life,
How about something only mildly sad like a choice you did or didn’t make.

Read a sad story, listen to a sad song, or just contemplate inhumanity and fear,
Acknowledge the absurd humor of it all so you don’t wallow in sorrow,
Hone your endurance, and you’ll be able to stop crying after a single tear.

Haha
Yowza

More Happy Encouragement - Ep. 441

I love a good old bit of encouragement, I do,
And it can come from me just like it can come from you.
And the flavor of encouragement I like works for both you and me.
‘Cause no one wants to be encouraged to be something they’re not trying to be.

[full text below]

Ep. 441 - More Happy Encouragement

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I love a good old bit of encouragement, I do,
And it can come from me just like it can come from you.
And the flavor of encouragement I like works for both you and me.
‘Cause no one wants to be encouraged to be something they’re not trying to be.

So, that means you have to know what they--or you--want,
So, you can encourage them--or you--to stick with it and be more than just nonchalant,
Happy Encouragement is about the how, while praise is just about the what,
And praise is all well and good, sure, but a dependency on it can get you stuck in a rut.

Encourage someone--or yourself--to try something new--or again--to see if it works, 
They--or you--don’t have to be perfect or afraid to fail like the rest of them jerks,
Don’t lie and say it’ll be easy, just say that pretty soon it might not seem so bad,
Because you’ll be stronger and better equipped to handle more than you ever had.

Haha
Yowza

Stay Happy - Ep. 440

The way you Stay Happy is by balancing work with play, 
Making sure you find the fun in each and every day.

[full text below]

Ep. 440 - Stay Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Have you ever tread water? Like, rather than swimming you stay vertical instead.
It can be an endurance test to those who see it that way, or even a survival skill.
It’s also a way of saying you aren’t moving forward, just stuck in your own head.
Or it can be a way to keep active and disciplined as you let your thoughts distill.

Perseverance, tenacity, and stick-to-itiveness are all well and good traits,
But putting them into practice may feel like a drudgery when it comes time,
As human beings we have to put up with a lot, being the playthings of the Fates,
And it can be hard to keep balance and growth when you might feel past your prime.

The secret to maintaining it, the way you Stay Happy, is you balance work with play,
That can be a hobby, an artistic expression, or just turning something into a game,
When you were a little kid, you could come up with activities that could last all day,
But as we mature into adults we devote more time to work, and life just isn’t the same.

So, make sure you find the fun every day, play a little game in your head if you have to,
Notice patterns, try talking backwards, count pairs of things, make shapes with your hands,
When I’m out walking in town, I balance on the edge of the curb, a game I never outgrew,
It’s why I was such a great babysitter, because playing is something every kid understands.

Haha
Yowza

 

Happy Venting - Ep. 439

Happy Venting just means that you’re choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you, 
As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset,
Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do,
Because if you make it an obsession, you’ll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt.

[full text below]

Ep. 439 - Happy Venting

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

The value of venting while various is by no means universally valid,
Sure, it can be a great release, but it can also become a nasty habit,
Constant complaining can turn the song in your heart into a bitter ballad,
Transforming even the sweetest of bunnies into a vicious and angry rabbit.

And who’s going to want to listen to someone with nothing positive to say?
Sure, it feels good to talk about what bothers us, especially if people agree,
But there comes a point when it makes everything look like doomsday,
‘Cause if relationships get strained enough, even goodwill has no guarantee.

Besides you may start feeling like the worst version of yourself too,
The more you make a stink, the more you surrender your ability to cope,
But reframe the blame, and accept that others make mistakes just like you do,
And if they can avoid their own downfall, then maybe you too can dare to hope.

Happy Venting just means that you’re choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you, 
As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset,
Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do,
Because if you make it an obsession, you’ll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt.

Haha
Yowza

Assume Happy - Ep. 438

Sometimes we think we know what’s going to happen before it does,
And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out,
We’ve already decided, we know how this ends, it’s always the same as it ever was,
But if you’re so certain about assuming the worst, that’s the very curse you’ll bring about.

[full text below]

Ep. 438 - Assume Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Sometimes we think we know what’s going to happen before it does,
And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out,
We’ve already decided, we know how this ends, it’s always the same as it ever was,
But if you’re so certain about assuming the worst, that’s the very curse you’ll bring about.

Here's an example about the time I went asking for a manager on a quiet afternoon,
Not trying to cause a stink, just looking for a boon,
Something happened at the hotel, you see, a couple days before,
And I felt that some consideration should really be in store.

You see the elevator broke down, on the way to meet friends for brunch,
I doubt it was the first time it broke, though that’s really just a hunch,
I told the Wednesday clerk about it and asked her to leave a note,
In their guest computer files, which is exactly what she wrote.

Then three days later when I checked out I asked for a better rate,
Because missing brunch thanks to their elevator is a feeling that wasn’t great,
The Saturday clerk didn’t know me and so doubted my every word,
So, I said perhaps the manager would allow me to be heard.

The Saturday clerk did not like that, but begrudgingly complied with my request,
The manager approached and, while much taller, was similarly dressed,
She asked me, with a practiced smile, what she could do for me,
I told her about the elevator ride that took an e-ter-ni-ty.

She said she’d heard nothing about such a case as this,
And the fact that I hadn’t reported it, to her, seemed quite amiss,
“But I had,” I said, “to whom,” she asked, so I told her the Wednesday clerk’s name,
“Was she working?” She asked the Saturday clerk who was eager to gripe and blame.

“I believe she added a note,” I said, “if you’ll check your computer there,”
She did and said “oh, yes, she has--I think a discount’s only fair,”
The Saturday clerk was shocked and sorry and apologized profusely to me,
I said I wasn’t angry, I just wanted a smaller fee.

Now, it’s true, I could’ve started by saying a note was on my file, 
But the Saturday clerk was oh so huffy, so I thought I’d stretch it out a while,
Sometimes it pays to have some patience and not assume you know it all,
Because over-committing to laying blame may just set yourself up for a fall.

Haha
Yowza

Happy Listening - Ep. 437

Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn,
In letting someone tell their story without distractions,
By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn,
And engaging using non-judgmental reactions.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 437 - Happy Listening

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn,
In letting someone tell their story without distractions,
By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn,
And engaging using non-judgmental reactions.

Such as eye contact, words of encouragement and nodding, 
And being able to identify and track the points they’re making,
So, if they need to re-focus you can help with very little prodding,
Which shows you’re paying attention and aren’t faking.

This can make them feel valued, seen and heard,
And you don’t even have to share their point of view,
Validating their perspective isn’t about agreeing with every word,
It’s about recognizing why it’s important to them not to you.

There are countless topics I know very little about,
And so you’d think I couldn’t carry on a conversation,
But I’m eager to let a greater appreciation come out,
So I welcome every description, account, and explanation.

This is how I was able to be a babysitter for years on end,
How I was able to turn many a temp job into a long term guarantee,
How I once spent eight hours at an airport making a new friend,
And how I can hang with all sorts of people vastly different from me.

Haha
Yowza

Understanding Happy - Ep. 436

How do you go about understanding you? 
While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside
That can help inform all we think and do,
It only excels if we let engagement be our guide.

[full text below}

Ep. 436 - Understanding Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

How do you go about understanding you? 
While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside
That can help inform all we think and do,
It only excels if we let engagement be our guide.

For example, most of us never bother to notice how often we do the same things,
Who keeps track of all the little stuff? Who cares? It’s nothing but a pointless bore,
But if you had to pick a pattern, you might notice the thoughts and feelings it brings,
Like, how often are you late for events that you didn’t intend to be late for?

And once you start tracking such things, you may just find deeper personal insight,
Why are you late? Are you always late by the same amount? Do you just hate being early?
Do you lose track of time? Do you misjudge? Do you hate schedules and do it out of spite?
Is life just one big anxiety and it’s a wonder you can get anywhere amidst the hurly-burly?

I hate being late and so will give myself extra time so that even with delays I’m still good,
Is it to show respect for others? Is it to avoid getting in trouble? Is it to get a head start?
I show up early even if no one notices because I can be counted on and I want it understood,
My word means something and if I make a plan I will follow through with my whole heart.

But sometimes plans go wrong and despite leaving early you sometimes still arrive late,
Does this make you mad, sad or couldn’t you care less? Do people need to chill, you think?
Asking these questions is how you get to know yourself better, what you love, and hate,
And once you do that, then maybe you can find a way to keep yourself in sync.

What are some other things that you do? Do you take little breaths? Or big bites?
Do you fill the air with words? Talk with your hands? Fidget and muddle through?
Can you take a deep breath? Savor your food? Be patient? Fight only the good fights?
Paying attention to how you are who you are allows you to understand Happy is you.

Haha 
Yowza

How to be Nice (and Mean it!) - Ep. 435

Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant,
While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases.
The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present,
That way you won’t pick a fight, but instead stay in people’s good graces.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 435 - How to be Nice (and Mean it!)

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I’ve been a waiter, a babysitter, a tutor and a volunteer,
I’ve been a little brother, a confidant, and an event emcee, 
I’ve been an office assistant, a retail clerk, and one thing remains clear,
Things go much smoother depending on how Nice you can be.

It helps you get along with others and even make friends, 
But doesn’t always work since some folks are just itching to fight,
But even they can sometimes be won over, it really depends
On how sincere you are about being Nice, it’s gotta feel right.

Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant,
While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases.
The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present,
That way you won’t pick a fight, but instead stay in people’s good graces.

When you Agree, it’s not about just saying yes, but finding common ground,
It’s about accepting people as they are, and being fair and clear in your dealings,
This can work on young and old alike, finding ways to connect not to confound,
But just be aware that not everyone appreciates such friendly feelings.

When you Encourage, you should avoid idle flattery, but instead be specific,
So, it helps if you pay attention and be respectful of the goals they hold dear,
Then you’ll have a better sense of want kind of feedback they’d consider terrific,
And you can provide words of hope with genuine feelings of good cheer.

And when you’re being Present, you’re listening, and reading the room, 
You’re showing an interest in the other person to get them to open up more,
You’re being mindful, which allows you to adapt quickly--just, like “boom!”
Because you’re agile, on your toes, ready to switch, jump, take off and soar.

I routinely have long conversations with people I just met, on a bus, or a plane,
Because I am Present, I find ways to Agree, and offer Encouragement too,
You don’t have to kiss their butt to say something positive--never praise in vain,
But be genuine, you can say you don’t get it, and let them explain it to you.

It helps if you like people, of course, but sometimes it can still work even so,
Even if you have to tell folks bad news--add a reason, and end with something good,
Break it to them honestly, tell them why, and provide a spark of hope before they go,
Wouldn’t you like to connect with someone Nice? I know I sure would.

Haha
Yowza

Happy Insight - Ep. 434

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

[full text below]

Ep. 434 - Happy Insight

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

When something unexpected happens how do you react?
Do you explode with anger or do you break down and cry?
Whatever was suppressed is what needs to be unpacked,
To unlock and release the hidden pain for you to identify.

Before I had any comprehension or self-control, I used to raise hell,
I once screamed at my boss to get my stuff he’d locked in the store,
But he just looked at me and said, “not if you’re going to yell,”
And then walked away leaving me alone and fuming outside the door.

My dad used to yell a lot and there I was doing the same damn thing,
It didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel powerful, it just felt mean and wrong,
I tried to blame everyone else, but it was entirely my own downswing
I vowed to myself that I would learn how to become quietly strong.

Then, years later, I had a boss who liked to yell, and I got my chance,
At first, I tried to meet his every need to give him no excuse to get mad,
But he still found a way to get upset at some random circumstance,
He screamed at me in front of others who ran away when things got bad.

So, I went into his office, shut the door and told him he couldn’t do that,
I didn’t so much as raise my voice, I said I didn’t care what I had done
There was no excuse for that kind of anger and abuse, this wasn’t combat,
This was office work and whatever it was could be fixed without a hit-and-run.

And I stayed there talking to him for forty-five minutes in a very even tone,
I asked him if he’d ever tried anger management to learn how to cope,
He eventually apologized and I went back to my desk--no longer a war zone,
For we had come to an understanding--did he ever yell at me again? Nope.

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

Haha
Yowza