Inherently Happy

Happy Venting - Ep. 439

Happy Venting just means that you’re choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you, 
As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset,
Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do,
Because if you make it an obsession, you’ll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt.

[full text below]

Ep. 439 - Happy Venting

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

The value of venting while various is by no means universally valid,
Sure, it can be a great release, but it can also become a nasty habit,
Constant complaining can turn the song in your heart into a bitter ballad,
Transforming even the sweetest of bunnies into a vicious and angry rabbit.

And who’s going to want to listen to someone with nothing positive to say?
Sure, it feels good to talk about what bothers us, especially if people agree,
But there comes a point when it makes everything look like doomsday,
‘Cause if relationships get strained enough, even goodwill has no guarantee.

Besides you may start feeling like the worst version of yourself too,
The more you make a stink, the more you surrender your ability to cope,
But reframe the blame, and accept that others make mistakes just like you do,
And if they can avoid their own downfall, then maybe you too can dare to hope.

Happy Venting just means that you’re choosing a safe outlet for what bugs you, 
As opposed to a full-blown battle royale every time you get a tad bit upset,
Keep things in perspective, let off a little steam without too much fuss or to-do,
Because if you make it an obsession, you’ll get stuck wallowing in emotional debt.

Haha
Yowza

Assume Happy - Ep. 438

Sometimes we think we know what’s going to happen before it does,
And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out,
We’ve already decided, we know how this ends, it’s always the same as it ever was,
But if you’re so certain about assuming the worst, that’s the very curse you’ll bring about.

[full text below]

Ep. 438 - Assume Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Sometimes we think we know what’s going to happen before it does,
And start moving in that direction before giving things a chance to play out,
We’ve already decided, we know how this ends, it’s always the same as it ever was,
But if you’re so certain about assuming the worst, that’s the very curse you’ll bring about.

Here's an example about the time I went asking for a manager on a quiet afternoon,
Not trying to cause a stink, just looking for a boon,
Something happened at the hotel, you see, a couple days before,
And I felt that some consideration should really be in store.

You see the elevator broke down, on the way to meet friends for brunch,
I doubt it was the first time it broke, though that’s really just a hunch,
I told the Wednesday clerk about it and asked her to leave a note,
In their guest computer files, which is exactly what she wrote.

Then three days later when I checked out I asked for a better rate,
Because missing brunch thanks to their elevator is a feeling that wasn’t great,
The Saturday clerk didn’t know me and so doubted my every word,
So, I said perhaps the manager would allow me to be heard.

The Saturday clerk did not like that, but begrudgingly complied with my request,
The manager approached and, while much taller, was similarly dressed,
She asked me, with a practiced smile, what she could do for me,
I told her about the elevator ride that took an e-ter-ni-ty.

She said she’d heard nothing about such a case as this,
And the fact that I hadn’t reported it, to her, seemed quite amiss,
“But I had,” I said, “to whom,” she asked, so I told her the Wednesday clerk’s name,
“Was she working?” She asked the Saturday clerk who was eager to gripe and blame.

“I believe she added a note,” I said, “if you’ll check your computer there,”
She did and said “oh, yes, she has--I think a discount’s only fair,”
The Saturday clerk was shocked and sorry and apologized profusely to me,
I said I wasn’t angry, I just wanted a smaller fee.

Now, it’s true, I could’ve started by saying a note was on my file, 
But the Saturday clerk was oh so huffy, so I thought I’d stretch it out a while,
Sometimes it pays to have some patience and not assume you know it all,
Because over-committing to laying blame may just set yourself up for a fall.

Haha
Yowza

Happy Listening - Ep. 437

Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn,
In letting someone tell their story without distractions,
By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn,
And engaging using non-judgmental reactions.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 437 - Happy Listening

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Happy Listening begins with being curious and wanting to learn,
In letting someone tell their story without distractions,
By trying to understand instead of just waiting for your turn,
And engaging using non-judgmental reactions.

Such as eye contact, words of encouragement and nodding, 
And being able to identify and track the points they’re making,
So, if they need to re-focus you can help with very little prodding,
Which shows you’re paying attention and aren’t faking.

This can make them feel valued, seen and heard,
And you don’t even have to share their point of view,
Validating their perspective isn’t about agreeing with every word,
It’s about recognizing why it’s important to them not to you.

There are countless topics I know very little about,
And so you’d think I couldn’t carry on a conversation,
But I’m eager to let a greater appreciation come out,
So I welcome every description, account, and explanation.

This is how I was able to be a babysitter for years on end,
How I was able to turn many a temp job into a long term guarantee,
How I once spent eight hours at an airport making a new friend,
And how I can hang with all sorts of people vastly different from me.

Haha
Yowza

Understanding Happy - Ep. 436

How do you go about understanding you? 
While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside
That can help inform all we think and do,
It only excels if we let engagement be our guide.

[full text below}

Ep. 436 - Understanding Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

How do you go about understanding you? 
While Happy is the balanced growth we each have inside
That can help inform all we think and do,
It only excels if we let engagement be our guide.

For example, most of us never bother to notice how often we do the same things,
Who keeps track of all the little stuff? Who cares? It’s nothing but a pointless bore,
But if you had to pick a pattern, you might notice the thoughts and feelings it brings,
Like, how often are you late for events that you didn’t intend to be late for?

And once you start tracking such things, you may just find deeper personal insight,
Why are you late? Are you always late by the same amount? Do you just hate being early?
Do you lose track of time? Do you misjudge? Do you hate schedules and do it out of spite?
Is life just one big anxiety and it’s a wonder you can get anywhere amidst the hurly-burly?

I hate being late and so will give myself extra time so that even with delays I’m still good,
Is it to show respect for others? Is it to avoid getting in trouble? Is it to get a head start?
I show up early even if no one notices because I can be counted on and I want it understood,
My word means something and if I make a plan I will follow through with my whole heart.

But sometimes plans go wrong and despite leaving early you sometimes still arrive late,
Does this make you mad, sad or couldn’t you care less? Do people need to chill, you think?
Asking these questions is how you get to know yourself better, what you love, and hate,
And once you do that, then maybe you can find a way to keep yourself in sync.

What are some other things that you do? Do you take little breaths? Or big bites?
Do you fill the air with words? Talk with your hands? Fidget and muddle through?
Can you take a deep breath? Savor your food? Be patient? Fight only the good fights?
Paying attention to how you are who you are allows you to understand Happy is you.

Haha 
Yowza

How to be Nice (and Mean it!) - Ep. 435

Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant,
While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases.
The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present,
That way you won’t pick a fight, but instead stay in people’s good graces.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 435 - How to be Nice (and Mean it!)

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I’ve been a waiter, a babysitter, a tutor and a volunteer,
I’ve been a little brother, a confidant, and an event emcee, 
I’ve been an office assistant, a retail clerk, and one thing remains clear,
Things go much smoother depending on how Nice you can be.

It helps you get along with others and even make friends, 
But doesn’t always work since some folks are just itching to fight,
But even they can sometimes be won over, it really depends
On how sincere you are about being Nice, it’s gotta feel right.

Having a sense of fun and play can help you be pleasant,
While still taking things seriously, which can mean a lot in some cases.
The three main things to do are to Agree, Encourage and be Present,
That way you won’t pick a fight, but instead stay in people’s good graces.

When you Agree, it’s not about just saying yes, but finding common ground,
It’s about accepting people as they are, and being fair and clear in your dealings,
This can work on young and old alike, finding ways to connect not to confound,
But just be aware that not everyone appreciates such friendly feelings.

When you Encourage, you should avoid idle flattery, but instead be specific,
So, it helps if you pay attention and be respectful of the goals they hold dear,
Then you’ll have a better sense of want kind of feedback they’d consider terrific,
And you can provide words of hope with genuine feelings of good cheer.

And when you’re being Present, you’re listening, and reading the room, 
You’re showing an interest in the other person to get them to open up more,
You’re being mindful, which allows you to adapt quickly--just, like “boom!”
Because you’re agile, on your toes, ready to switch, jump, take off and soar.

I routinely have long conversations with people I just met, on a bus, or a plane,
Because I am Present, I find ways to Agree, and offer Encouragement too,
You don’t have to kiss their butt to say something positive--never praise in vain,
But be genuine, you can say you don’t get it, and let them explain it to you.

It helps if you like people, of course, but sometimes it can still work even so,
Even if you have to tell folks bad news--add a reason, and end with something good,
Break it to them honestly, tell them why, and provide a spark of hope before they go,
Wouldn’t you like to connect with someone Nice? I know I sure would.

Haha
Yowza

Happy Insight - Ep. 434

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

[full text below]

Ep. 434 - Happy Insight

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

When something unexpected happens how do you react?
Do you explode with anger or do you break down and cry?
Whatever was suppressed is what needs to be unpacked,
To unlock and release the hidden pain for you to identify.

Before I had any comprehension or self-control, I used to raise hell,
I once screamed at my boss to get my stuff he’d locked in the store,
But he just looked at me and said, “not if you’re going to yell,”
And then walked away leaving me alone and fuming outside the door.

My dad used to yell a lot and there I was doing the same damn thing,
It didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel powerful, it just felt mean and wrong,
I tried to blame everyone else, but it was entirely my own downswing
I vowed to myself that I would learn how to become quietly strong.

Then, years later, I had a boss who liked to yell, and I got my chance,
At first, I tried to meet his every need to give him no excuse to get mad,
But he still found a way to get upset at some random circumstance,
He screamed at me in front of others who ran away when things got bad.

So, I went into his office, shut the door and told him he couldn’t do that,
I didn’t so much as raise my voice, I said I didn’t care what I had done
There was no excuse for that kind of anger and abuse, this wasn’t combat,
This was office work and whatever it was could be fixed without a hit-and-run.

And I stayed there talking to him for forty-five minutes in a very even tone,
I asked him if he’d ever tried anger management to learn how to cope,
He eventually apologized and I went back to my desk--no longer a war zone,
For we had come to an understanding--did he ever yell at me again? Nope.

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

Haha
Yowza

 

Happy Naming - Ep. 433

Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are,
Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow,
Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far
And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 433 - Happy Naming

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I get the draw of softening language to lessen the blow, and yet
It runs the risk of diluting the meaning of what you’re trying to express,
Like saying “I’m experiencing slight feelings of annoyance and upset,”
Instead of just saying “I’m mad and it’s giving me a lot of stress.”

Adding abstractions and euphemisms doesn’t always make things better,
In some cases it can even create disconnection when you need to recognize
That facts aren't that scary, and not every word starts with a scarlet letter,
And that hiding from reality makes things worse, burying truth under lies.

If you can’t even name it, then you certainly can’t spot it or face it, 
And it’ll forever linger to threaten, frighten and worry you to death,
An unnamed danger endlessly lurking, defying any attempt to erase it,
While an identified feeling or state is as manageable as one’s own breath.

Then once named, located, defined, and acknowledged it becomes containable,
If I'm blue, I don’t say “I’m having persistent sorrowful leanings,” I just say “I’m sad,”
And once I do, then the path appears and reaching the summit seems attainable,
As I get to work helping my heart strengthen and heal until I don’t feel quite so bad.

And it also keeps me from going overboard the other way into doom speech!
When we turn truths into exaggerations, they can get away from us but quick,
So that when merely feeling anxious, we instead call ourselves broken and beyond reach,
Losing any and all trust in our own ability to handle life and thereby make ourselves sick.

Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are,
Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow,
Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far
And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go.

Haha
Yowza

 

Glad Happy - Ep. 432

Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop, 
But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast,
It can make you think that you’re better than the group,
And such thoughts have been known not to last.

[full text below]

Ep. 432 - Glad Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop, 
But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast,
It can make you think that you’re better than the group,
And such thoughts have been known not to last.

When things go wrong we tend to rally our forces, 
But when things go right we can get a little wild,
It’s wise to stay centered and best to hold your horses,
‘Cause overdoing it can make you act like a child.

And not in the fun way, but one that makes you seem like a brat,
Like a kid who spoils their dinner by eating too much candy,
Sure, it tastes good, but it’ll also rot your teeth and make you fat,
And poor impulse control is not a trait that you want to keep handy.

When people say “grow up” they usually mean “stop complaining”
As if whining were the only mark of immaturity,
But over-celebrating is also not that entertaining,
And being smug can make others want to foul you into obscurity.

I’m not saying don’t be Glad when things are good, we deserve to acknowledge our wins,
I’m just saying don’t go overboard and make yourself Glad Happy or Stark Raving Glad
Because that’s arrogant, offensive and mean to others, like an emotional kick in the shins!
And they may just retaliate, which may surprise you, turning your good fortune into bad.

Haha
Yowza

 

 

Happy Fix - Ep. 431

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can help us learn and grow,
But perfection is impossible for everyone.

 

[full text below]

 

Ep. 431 - Happy Fix

 

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can help us learn and grow,
But perfection is impossible for everyone.

Though the idea that not everything needs to be Life or Death
Isn’t something I ever really believed in,
If I was going to do something, I would do it until my dying breath,
Or else, like, why even begin?

But that caused me a lot of stress, 
I had to count to ten, and focus on my breathing,
In through the nose, out through the mouth, yes, yes,
Anything to keep me from furiously seething.

But I had the Happy Fix right in front of me,
“Don’t treat everything like it’s the only thing,”
(Go ahead and make mistakes--feel free!)
I just refused to see what calmness it could bring.

I figured that if I didn’t do everything all the way, 
Then I could be outworked or outlasted,
But as a result I was getting stressed every day,
And even more stress was being forecasted.

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I repeated,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can be honored and well-treated.
Either way, perfection is impossible for everyone.

Haha
Yowza

 

Happy Patterns - Ep. 430

Don’t bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call,
To seek the deeper order that permeates us all,
It’s our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear,
And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear.

[full text below]

Ep. 430 - Happy Patterns

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Maybe chaos is a pattern that you just don’t yet know, 
Though you mustn’t try to force it, just simply let it show
All it has to teach you, and all it has to say,
And soon you’ll see the pattern showing you the way.

And don't let your perspective start clouding up your sight, 
With your old assumptions insisting that you’re right,
But, instead, try to just be present, try to just be there, 
And maybe then you'll realize and become much more aware.

Or what may seem like chaos could be just a piece
Of a larger pattern waiting for release
From your tunnel vision, from your restricted view,
So maybe the confusion is coming just from you.

Or chaos is transition, not destruction like you thought,
And change becomes uplifting not a battle to be fought,
Patterns will emerge if you just give them a chance,
Idle words and movements become a song and dance.

So, don’t bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call,
To seek the deeper order that permeates us all,
It’s our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear,
And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear.

Haha
Yowza