Inherently Happy

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

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Ep. 434 - Happy Insight

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

When something unexpected happens how do you react?
Do you explode with anger or do you break down and cry?
Whatever was suppressed is what needs to be unpacked,
To unlock and release the hidden pain for you to identify.

Before I had any comprehension or self-control, I used to raise hell,
I once screamed at my boss to get my stuff he’d locked in the store,
But he just looked at me and said, “not if you’re going to yell,”
And then walked away leaving me alone and fuming outside the door.

My dad used to yell a lot and there I was doing the same damn thing,
It didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel powerful, it just felt mean and wrong,
I tried to blame everyone else, but it was entirely my own downswing
I vowed to myself that I would learn how to become quietly strong.

Then, years later, I had a boss who liked to yell, and I got my chance,
At first, I tried to meet his every need to give him no excuse to get mad,
But he still found a way to get upset at some random circumstance,
He screamed at me in front of others who ran away when things got bad.

So, I went into his office, shut the door and told him he couldn’t do that,
I didn’t so much as raise my voice, I said I didn’t care what I had done
There was no excuse for that kind of anger and abuse, this wasn’t combat,
This was office work and whatever it was could be fixed without a hit-and-run.

And I stayed there talking to him for forty-five minutes in a very even tone,
I asked him if he’d ever tried anger management to learn how to cope,
He eventually apologized and I went back to my desk--no longer a war zone,
For we had come to an understanding--did he ever yell at me again? Nope.

Happy Insight comes from facing what you may be suppressing,
And realizing that it doesn’t have to steal away your sense of calm,
If you can take a look at your own reactions that may need addressing,
Then you can defuse whatever may eventually turn into a ticking time bomb.

Haha
Yowza

 

Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are,
Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow,
Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far
And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go.

 

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Ep. 433 - Happy Naming

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I get the draw of softening language to lessen the blow, and yet
It runs the risk of diluting the meaning of what you’re trying to express,
Like saying “I’m experiencing slight feelings of annoyance and upset,”
Instead of just saying “I’m mad and it’s giving me a lot of stress.”

Adding abstractions and euphemisms doesn’t always make things better,
In some cases it can even create disconnection when you need to recognize
That facts aren't that scary, and not every word starts with a scarlet letter,
And that hiding from reality makes things worse, burying truth under lies.

If you can’t even name it, then you certainly can’t spot it or face it, 
And it’ll forever linger to threaten, frighten and worry you to death,
An unnamed danger endlessly lurking, defying any attempt to erase it,
While an identified feeling or state is as manageable as one’s own breath.

Then once named, located, defined, and acknowledged it becomes containable,
If I'm blue, I don’t say “I’m having persistent sorrowful leanings,” I just say “I’m sad,”
And once I do, then the path appears and reaching the summit seems attainable,
As I get to work helping my heart strengthen and heal until I don’t feel quite so bad.

And it also keeps me from going overboard the other way into doom speech!
When we turn truths into exaggerations, they can get away from us but quick,
So that when merely feeling anxious, we instead call ourselves broken and beyond reach,
Losing any and all trust in our own ability to handle life and thereby make ourselves sick.

Happy Naming is about giving yourself an accurate assessment of the way things are,
Knowing your limits helps you balance, and knowing your starting point helps you grow,
Self-Awareness affords you the capacity to evaluate and understand how you got this far
And allows for the clarity of purpose and the vision to know how far you have yet to go.

Haha
Yowza

 

Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop, 
But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast,
It can make you think that you’re better than the group,
And such thoughts have been known not to last.

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Ep. 432 - Glad Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Sudden anger or sadness can throw you for a loop, 
But sudden joy can undo you twice as fast,
It can make you think that you’re better than the group,
And such thoughts have been known not to last.

When things go wrong we tend to rally our forces, 
But when things go right we can get a little wild,
It’s wise to stay centered and best to hold your horses,
‘Cause overdoing it can make you act like a child.

And not in the fun way, but one that makes you seem like a brat,
Like a kid who spoils their dinner by eating too much candy,
Sure, it tastes good, but it’ll also rot your teeth and make you fat,
And poor impulse control is not a trait that you want to keep handy.

When people say “grow up” they usually mean “stop complaining”
As if whining were the only mark of immaturity,
But over-celebrating is also not that entertaining,
And being smug can make others want to foul you into obscurity.

I’m not saying don’t be Glad when things are good, we deserve to acknowledge our wins,
I’m just saying don’t go overboard and make yourself Glad Happy or Stark Raving Glad
Because that’s arrogant, offensive and mean to others, like an emotional kick in the shins!
And they may just retaliate, which may surprise you, turning your good fortune into bad.

Haha
Yowza

 

 

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can help us learn and grow,
But perfection is impossible for everyone.

 

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Ep. 431 - Happy Fix

 

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I know,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can help us learn and grow,
But perfection is impossible for everyone.

Though the idea that not everything needs to be Life or Death
Isn’t something I ever really believed in,
If I was going to do something, I would do it until my dying breath,
Or else, like, why even begin?

But that caused me a lot of stress, 
I had to count to ten, and focus on my breathing,
In through the nose, out through the mouth, yes, yes,
Anything to keep me from furiously seething.

But I had the Happy Fix right in front of me,
“Don’t treat everything like it’s the only thing,”
(Go ahead and make mistakes--feel free!)
I just refused to see what calmness it could bring.

I figured that if I didn’t do everything all the way, 
Then I could be outworked or outlasted,
But as a result I was getting stressed every day,
And even more stress was being forecasted.

Mistakes are not the end of the world, I repeated,
Most things can be fixed, replaced or redone,
And what cannot, can be honored and well-treated.
Either way, perfection is impossible for everyone.

Haha
Yowza

 

Don’t bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call,
To seek the deeper order that permeates us all,
It’s our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear,
And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear.

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Ep. 430 - Happy Patterns

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Maybe chaos is a pattern that you just don’t yet know, 
Though you mustn’t try to force it, just simply let it show
All it has to teach you, and all it has to say,
And soon you’ll see the pattern showing you the way.

And don't let your perspective start clouding up your sight, 
With your old assumptions insisting that you’re right,
But, instead, try to just be present, try to just be there, 
And maybe then you'll realize and become much more aware.

Or what may seem like chaos could be just a piece
Of a larger pattern waiting for release
From your tunnel vision, from your restricted view,
So maybe the confusion is coming just from you.

Or chaos is transition, not destruction like you thought,
And change becomes uplifting not a battle to be fought,
Patterns will emerge if you just give them a chance,
Idle words and movements become a song and dance.

So, don’t bother fearing chaos, but treat it as a call,
To seek the deeper order that permeates us all,
It’s our thoughts and actions that make the meaning clear,
And our Happy choices that make Happy Patterns appear.

Haha
Yowza

Have you ever been intentionally Mean? You know, done something unkind just for fun?
Such as taking the last two desserts, so the loudmouth behind you gets none?
Why do we revel in the misfortune of those we dismiss? Are we Mean down to the core?
Or is it because the world keeps messing with us, and we just want to even the score?

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Ep. 429 - A Happy Sport

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Have you ever been intentionally Mean? You know, done something unkind just for fun?
Such as taking the last two desserts, so the loudmouth behind you gets none?
Why do we revel in the misfortune of those we dismiss? Are we Mean down to the core?
Or is it because the world keeps messing with us, and we just want to even the score?

But does it really even it out, or have we, instead, just picked a new fight?
Where our targets target us in return just when we thought we were right,
And the whole thing becomes a battle of one-upmanship, trading same for same,
Only instead of a Happy Sport, we're all just playing a losing game.

It may feel like winning and even glory, but maniacal glee is not joy, it’s hate, 
And there are better ways to play that don’t include such a self-destructive fate.
Respect your fellow players--they dislike losing too. Shake hands and play fair.
Cooperate or compete as you see fit, but never act like you don’t care.

Life is meant to be lived, and it’s much more fun when we do it as a team,
For who knows what happens when it ends, so play nice and share the dream.

Haha
Yowza

Your sense of reality is influenced by how you view and interact with the world,
Your frame of reference is impacted by how you feel and what you believe,
When you lose it’s a tragedy, while winning deserves a parade with banners unfurled,
Happy Perception starts with seeing Balanced Growth as built-in, not something to achieve.

 

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Ep. 428 - Happy Perception

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

Your sense of reality is influenced by how you view and interact with the world,
Your frame of reference is impacted by how you feel and what you believe,
When you lose it’s a tragedy, while winning deserves a parade with banners unfurled,
Happy Perception starts with seeing Balanced Growth as built-in, not something to achieve.

Balance is there equalizing contrasts and managing every extreme,
While Growth is about realizing better ways than were previously known,
Seeing others as being on the same journey helps you look past how things may seem,
Allowing you to consider points of view that may be different from your own.

Being mindful and paying close attention is a great way to deepen your connections,
Connections with others, with your senses, and with the world at large,
Do you mindlessly wolf down your food? Is your focus split in all directions?
Or are you able to be present, intentional and mindfully in charge?

In charge of your actions, thoughts and, yes, even your moods?
How do you see yourself? Do you ever spare yourself time to check-in and take stock?
To be aware of your triggers, your prejudices and attitudes?
Or do you just try to keep the world from knocking off your block?

Happy Perception can also be about changing your point of view to take a closer look,
To allow yourself to lean in and let your understanding of the world increase,
Rewarding you with deeper appreciation for the second glance you finally took,
And granting you greater ways to express gratitude and find peace.

Haha
Yowza

 

If you want a good trick for when things get hairy,
It’s perspective you want--to give yourself some breathing room,
It may not turn a rage monster into someone merry, 
But naming your mood and counting to ten can possibly stave off doom.

 

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Ep. 427 - Perspective Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

If you want a good trick for when things get hairy,
It’s perspective you want--to give yourself some breathing room,
It may not turn a rage monster into someone merry, 
But naming your mood and counting to ten can possibly stave off doom.

How do you name your mood? It’s easy. If you feel mad, you say “I’m mad,”
And what does that do? It moves it from the Stress part of your brain
To the Reason part, and that can give you more perspective than you had,
Which can give you some distance, some calm and relieve some of the strain.

Your actions, environment and imagination are more powerful than you may think,
Your emotions are the weaker voices, which is why they may sometimes scream
Just to get your goat, but if you count, name, and imagine that you’re in the pink,
Then you might be able to regain control and let the pain pass like a bad dream.

But what if it’s already too late for counting and naming?
What if you’re already too far gone in a bad mood for that to work?
Well, intense emotions have a very short shelf-life, if you can avoid blaming,
And just let them run their course without going a tad berserk.

You see, it’s the stories we attach to those feelings that give them their staying power, 
You might get a sudden surge of anger when someone cuts you off at the pass,
But it’s the narrative you invent about how they’ve had it in for you for the past hour
That turns that fleeting feeling into a full-blown war and makes you step on the gas!

And it’s not just with anger--it's with any extreme mood, but only if you take the bait,
Your Stress Brain would love nothing better than to be fed loads of angsty, panicky fuel
Just so’s it can steer you right into a spiral of bitter sadness and/or violent hate,
But if you’re Perspective Happy, then you’ll know the tricks, and be able to keep your cool.

Haha
Yowza

 

Look for things to like about people--there’s usually something, some trait,
Some aspect of them as people existing in this world that you can’t disallow,
Something that resonates, that connects and has the power to create!
Create what? Understanding at the very least if not friendship right now.

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Ep. 426 - Like Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I’m helpful, empathic, a real caretaker type--want to know why? Want to know how?
I look for things to like about people--there’s usually something, some trait,
Some aspect of them as people existing in this world that you can’t disallow,
It’s something that resonates, that connects and has the power to create.

Create what? A friendship!--a camaraderie. Now I’ve met people who seemed just awful,
Like, why-would-you-want-to-subject-yourself-to-their-abuse kind of bad news,
They’re hurtful and mean and seem to really enjoy being cruel and slightly unlawful,
But they can also be really loyal to those whose company they choose.

I met a guy at work once who everybody hated--he was bossy but had no authority,
He didn’t outrank anyone, he just acted as if he did--so was routinely ignored,
And the distaste for him wasn’t just from a few but from the vast majority,
And so my challenge was to try to find some Happy detail just waiting to be explored.

He tried bossing me around too, but I simply kept talking to him instead,
I’d talk about TV shows and movies and stuff and he’d stop and look at me weird,
Then he’d ask me what I was doing, and I’d say that he seemed to be very well-read,
And that I always appreciated intelligent conversation--at which he scoffed and sneered.

But still I kept talking to him about topics I enjoyed, like books, food and music too,
Then I suggested we go to a movie and get something to eat and he looked worried,
“I’m not trying to hit on you,” I assured him. “A good movie discussion, me and you.”
And so we went! And outside of work he was way more chill and completely unhurried.

We became friends and he mellowed at work too. People didn’t hate him quite so much.
He had a lot of knowledge about film and could be very generous with what he knew,
But he was also embarrassed about his inexperience in the social scene and such,
So, I invited him to parties and get-togethers, but he simply didn’t know what to do.

He rubbed people the wrong way due to his extremely awkward and arrogant vibe,
So, I didn’t try to force him to make friends with everybody and I let him just be,
And we were like brothers for years, he was a cameraman and I was a scribe,
We swore we’d make movies together that the whole world would be dying to see.

And then there came a girl that I liked and I told him about her, wanting to share,
But, you see, he decided that he liked her too and felt he was far more deserving than me,
So, when I told him how my courtship was going he pretended like he didn’t care,
When all the while he was plotting to steal her heart away as if by divine decree.

And he used all the inside scoop that I had been feeding him to turn her head,
He knew everything she liked, but what he didn’t know was what she hated,
And chief among those things was liars and so she felt sorely misled,
She pulled away and he tried to cling, but her feelings had long since vacated.

He didn’t like her, you see. He merely wanted her, and that’s not the same thing,
You have to find something to relate to about someone even something small,
But he never allowed himself to feel for others. He hurt her and me--a real ding-a-ling,
I avoid him now--for safety--but I did like our discussions before he went AWOL.

I’m a bit more careful about who I try to find likable things about, but I still try,
Finding a friend where no one else bothered looking can be its own reward,
Sometimes I even turn those powers upon myself if I think I’m being a mean guy,
And could maybe use a friend, someone like Happy, just waiting to be adored.

I like finding things about people to like, it makes life more interesting, more fun,
It doesn’t always go great, but that’s life for you, it’s something to do, until we’re done.

Haha
Yowza

I’m what you might call Consent Happy and I’m in no way being sarcastic,
I CRAVE consent, in fact--for all manner of interactions and activities, 
Consent is Informed, Conscious, Revocable, Affirmative, Voluntary and Enthusiastic, 
The first letters of which spell out “I CRAVE”--thus satisfying my poetic sensitivities.

 

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Ep. 425 - Consent Happy

We begin as always 
with the Happy Creed.

We believe in Happy, 
in Balance and Growth, 
of being Mindful and Grateful,
Compassionate and Understanding.

Yowza
Haha
My Happy Friends!

I’m what you might call Consent Happy and I’m in no way being sarcastic,
I CRAVE consent, in fact--for all manner of interactions and activities, 
Consent is Informed, Conscious, Revocable, Affirmative, Voluntary and Enthusiastic, 
The first letters of which spell out “I CRAVE”--thus satisfying my poetic sensitivities.

Consent must be Informed or else you won’t know what you’re agreeing to,
And Conscious, since you can’t agree if you’re all passed out with nowhere to go,
And Revocable, meaning you can take it back if that’s what you want to do,
And Affirmative, meaning it’s a clear decision and not just the absence of the word No.

Consent must also be Voluntary, and not the result of some pressure or threat,
And it must be Enthusiastic, meaning it is clearly, positively and actively stated,
And I CRAVE Consent because this world doesn’t seem to have gotten that memo yet,
This means I think people should ask before they so much as hug--even if you’re related.

Maybe someone’s suddenly shy, or has back pain or just feels icky inside,
Consent is just a good habit to get into as it gives people a choice,
And it also means that people who do the asking have to be okay with being denied,
‘Cause it defeats the whole purpose if nobody listens to your voice.

And the right of Consent is not just for some people, but for everyone,
Regardless of gender, age, culture, relationship or any previous consent,
Just ‘cause you hugged somebody once doesn’t mean consent is over and done--
Reestablish it each and every time in case something changed in preference or intent.

Now I know this must seem like overkill to some folks ‘cause who’s going to bother?
Like, what kid is really going to ask for consent to hug or kiss his mother or father?
And I get that, which is why I say it’s something I CRAVE, since I know it’s in short supply,
And I can’t even claim that I always insist that others comply.

Sometimes it’s tough to stop someone before they grab you,
And saying something then might be seen as unfriendly and a bit cuckoo,
But I still prefer consent, regardless, and I want to normalize it,
So let it just be a reminder that we all should decide what we’re willing to permit.

Haha
Yowza